Dian's Labor Story - Part 3

Before masuk OT, salam Bern and mintak maaf macam hari raya, so scared of what could happen. Masuk dalam OT wah meriahnya siap ada lagu Maroon 5 kat background. I couldn't stay still because ya know, contraction, and kena marah lagi suruh duduk diam sebab susah nak cucuk bius, or was it epidural? Ntah.

I can still feel the contraction, and bila diorang tutup separuh badan pakai penghadang tu dah start cuak banyak. This is it. Any moment now. Doctor testing cucuk-cucuk and I can still feel my tummy being poked. "Eh boleh rasa lah!" She poked again. "Boleh rasa! Boleh rasa!" (kecoh gila minah ni, macam dia sorang je nak beranak)

The anaesthetic doctors looked at each other and say "Eh, aku buat betul kan tadi? Kau tengok aku buat betul kan tadi?" -_____-

They put a mask on me and I was gone. I can still hear the doctors talking to each other while they did the procedure on me. And that Maroon 5 song, at least I think that was Maroon 5, although I did not know the name of the song but I am pretty sure that was Adam Levine's voice. And I still think that instead of Maroon 5, they should have played ayat-ayat Quran.

I am pretty sure I was high, so I couldn't tell whether the following conversation really happened. The doctor asked me they can only save one person, either the baby or me. I answered "Baby". And then cepat-cepat jawab balik "Eh nak hidup jugak. Nanti kesian Bern!" Lolzzzz.

"Puan, puan, dengar tak suara baby? Dengar tak baby nangis?" I just nodded and sambung pengsan. After few minutes (again I couldn't tell) I can feel the tugging feeling on my tummy. Drama lagi lah "Eh rasa boleh rasaaaa!" Ni semua akibat tengok cerita Awake, where Hayden Christensen finds himself awake and aware but paralyzed during heart surgery. "Kejap puan kejap, kita tengah jahit awak." After that, I remembered I was shaking like hellz, sejuk gila please and transferred to recovering room where they put a heater under my blanket. Ahhhh so nice.

And then my baby was put in NICU and I didn't know about that until they transferred me to the ward. And that one deserves another post.

Til then!

Dian's Labor Story - Part 2

After what felt like gazillion hours later (padahal just 30 mins or so) finally they let Bern in. Then the doctors with the entourage (too many people in the labor room, semua ada lelaki perempuan melayu cina india) came in to check on me. Dulu tak nak amik fpp (full paying patient) services at Hospital Selayang because all the doctors there are male. Sekali apa lah nasib, pelbagai bangsa dan gender ada dalam bilik tu looking at my huu haa.

Doctor cakap nak pecahkan my ketuban, and I will feel a gush of warm water flowing down under. Rasa macam kencing tapi tak boleh control LOL. After air ketuban pecah the contraction keep on getting stronger and stronger. And the waiting game begin, since I am not fully dilated yet. Bern is on my side, I can tell he doesn't know what to do or what to say but I remembered he said selawat sayang, zikir sayang. Mula-mula memang I have it all in my head, "Lailahaillaanta subhanakainni kuntuminazzalimin". Tapi lepas tu semua ke laut. I just remembered that I screamed, a lot. Tihii.

Lepas tu kena marah lagi dengan nurse, "Jangan jerit-jerit lah, sakit memang sakit. Awak zikir je." If only I can channel all the pain and tumbuk muka nurse tu. Mana boleh control la, sakit kot! They gave me the Ethanol gas, and only supposed to sedut bila ada contraction, but I sedut every single time sampai muntah, because every time pun sakit. And the annoying nurse ask me, "Awak ada minum air selasih tak? Cakap je takpe kita tak marah." Bern answered no, and she said my contraction graph tinggi sangat. From what I know is air selasih is supposed to help you during the labor, not the other way round kan?

The doctor came in every half an hour to check my dilation. First doctor came in and performed VE and said I'm only 6 cm dilated. Damn it, 4 more cm! Time tu dah nak separuh mati. Everytime doctor datang, Bern yang tanya doctor if I can have epidural lol. And the doctor said tak boleh, kena tunggu baby's heart rate normal baru boleh. Oh, my baby's heart rate tak normal ke before this? No one told me that.

2nd doctor came in (again with the entourage) and did VE once again, and said dah 7 cm. Yay! and then another doctor came in, VE again. Time ni dah pasrah, berapa kali nak check VE. Everytime they did VE I will scream, cause it hurts so bad and so uncomfortable with all her entourage behind her still looking at my huu haa. "Siapa cakap 7 cm? Baru 6 cm la", while her hand is still inside my vajayjay. 

They had a lil discussion and told me that the baby's heart rate is not good. Everytime I'm having contraction, the baby's heart rate will drop. They suggest to do emergency C-sect, and it's up to me to decide. Doctor cakap takut nak tunggu sampai I am fully dilated, and baby lemas. At that time I remembered I answered so quickly 'OK' cause I couldn't bare the pain any longer. Nak sign form pun tak boleh sebab menggigil tahan sakit.

To be continued,, Part 3 

Dian's Labor Story - Part 1

I started to feel a mild contraction around 4 a.m, at least I think it was a contraction cause people said contraction feels like period cramps. Bern was asleep and snoring (nothing new) and I didn't wanna wake him up, plus I can still bare the pain.

Around 6 a.m I woke my husband up, and told him I think I'm having a contraction. I timed my contraction and it was 6-7 minutes apart. Bern tanya "Nak pergi hospital ke? Jap I subuh jap pastu kita pergi hospital." While Bern performed his Subuh, I texted my mom sambil guling-guling atas katil and said we're going to hospital.

On the way to the hospital, I keep track of my contraction and at that time dah 4-5 minutes apart. Time tu fikir betul ke nak beranak dah ni, cause my water didn't break and I didn't have the mucus plug ke bleeding ke whatsoever tu.



Sampai Hospital Ampang, at the registration counter I fikir, nak bagitahu apa kat nurse ni? I think Bern cakap kat nurse tu, while pointed at me "Dia dah sakit nak beranak kot" Lol. The nurse then asked me to hand the pink book and baring. There was several beds but at that time I sorang je yang nak beranak kot. Yang lain semua tunggu pagi sikit.

The nurse strapped the CTG to check on the contraction, and at that time memang sakit I just baring mengiring je, and then kena marah tak bole baring mengiring, kena baring straight je. Belum apa-apa lagi dah kena marah. Ok fine. Then a doctor came in and said she wants to do VE (vaginal examination nak tengok bukaan)

I heard and read about VE before and most of it semua cakap sakit. But at that time pasrah je, and to my surprise it wasn't that bad. I thought to myself, "I can handle this". Then the doctor said "Ok awak dah 4 cm dah boleh masuk labor room. Nanti nurse bagi baju awak tukar dalam toilet tu then tunggu luar."

Wait, what now? Dah boleh masuk labor room? At that time I started panicking, keluar bilik and told Bern that the doctor said dah boleh masuk labor room. The nurses asked me to have some breakfast because you can't eat or drink anything dah when you're in the labor room. And then Bern had to do some registration for me, and the nurse wheeled me into the labor room. Rasa kelakar cause why do I need to sit on the wheel chair cause I can still walk. I refused at first but the nurse insist. Ok fine.

Dah la at first the nurse wheeled me in the wrong labour room, and in that room ada orang tengah nak beranak. I can hear the lady screaming okay! Not good! Not good at all! But at that time fikir kenapa dia jerit, takde lah sakit sangat contraction ni (LOL paling lawak dalam dunia dan alam semesta)

When I got in the correct labor room, the nurse put the IV on me, and she played some surah on the computer. At that time the contraction is getting stronger and stronger, I think its because of the IV. Time tu dah start goyang-goyang kaki and tak boleh duduk diam. I asked the nurse where's my husband and she said selagi the labor process tak start, my husband cannot come in.

I asked if I can have some water, and the nurse said "Tadi tak breakfast ke? Kan dah cakap bila masuk labor room dah tak boleh makan ke minum." Ok fine. Tak boleh duduk diam dah because the pain, I tell you, is indescribable. And then kena marah lagi dengan the nurse "Eh jangan goyang-goyang macam ni, duduk diam je. Nak beranak memang sakit, kalau tak sakit bukan beranak la namanya."

Aku rasa nak tumbuk nurse tu.

Ah well Dian is awake. Duty calls. Laters!

How I found out I was pregnant

We didn't plan to get pregnant or anything, we just go with the flow. Kalau ada rezeki tu, adalah. Then there was this period when I couldn't bare the smell of cigarette smoke, and selalu cakap Bern busuk sebab bau asap rokok.

And then I was having severe cramp similar to menstrual cramp, and tengok calendar memang my period is about to due. Tapi calendar pun tak boleh pakai since I have irregular period. But anyway, since I confident sangat I'm pregnant, we went to buy the pregnancy test.

I read all the dos and donts before doing the test, and it says that the most accurate time to test is early in the morning since that is when the amount of hCG in your urine is high. But of course lah tak menyabo kan, I did it right after we got back which is at night.

After all the peeing is done, I waited patiently and hoping to see the double line appear. Nope. No double line. I can see only 1 line. Keluar toilet terus hug Bern and cried my eyes out. Bern cakap "Takpe, bukan rezeki kita lagi."

Malam tu nak tidur pun nangis, sedih. Rasa macam kehilangan, rasa macam you lost someone you never had. How can this be? Cause I sure do feel and know with all my heart that I'm pregnant. Something must be wrong.

The next day I woke up with swollen eyes, sent my husband off to work, still feeling heartbroken. Rasa macam baru lepas break dengan boyfriend. I went inside the toilet, reminiscing the test I did yesterday. Sambil sambil shower tu sambil mengintai tong sampah. Lepas habis shower, I took out the test from the dustbin, and there I saw it... double line.

Turns out that I didn't read the manual carefully. You're suppose to wait 5 - 10 mins to get the result, and I only waited 5 mins. Again, tak menyabau. Took a picture of it, sent it to my husband, to my bestfriend, Jay, and swear that I saw the double line. Bern cakap mcm samar-samar, Jay pun cakap it looks like a double line, but you can never be too sure. So after Bern got back from work, we went to get another pregnancy test.

We bought the Clearblue, the digital one. So if you're pregnant or if you're not, it will clearly state 'Pregnant' or 'Not Pregnant'. A little bit expensive, but no more false hope. And this time I waited the next morning to do the test.

Malam tu tak senang nak tidur, tak sabar nak tunggu pagi. I woke up at 7 a.m, peed on the stick and put it on the floor. Dug dap dug dap, and then.. 'Pregnant, 3 - 4 weeks'. I told ya!! I told ya!!

Keluar toilet, Bern is still sleeping. I woke him up and showed him the test. Buka mata sebelah je, "Pregnant? Yayy, congrats sayang. Alhamdulillah".

And then he went back to sleep. -___-

Randomness updated 5 years later!

Below post was originally posted on 2010, and was updated again on 12 July 2013, and I'm gonna update again today which is 2 years later!

# 1. I woke up this morning thinking, is there such person who woke up every morning and jump out of bed saying "I can't wait to go to work! I love my job!". Ada tak? Azmil cakap "Ada, Oprah Winfrey. " -_- Tah tah Oprah pun malas nak bangun pagi for work. Maybe every night when she went to bed dia pun mcm "Arghh, esok kena kerja ke?!" Hmm.. I doubt so!--> I am at the same company for the last 2 years. And I hated it! Been actively searching for a new job, but it's tough!!

Year 2015 --> I am currently a full time housewife and a mom. No income but it pays off to see my baby grow everyday!

#2. Yesterday I went to see Bern's lil brother, Musin, who participated in a battle of the band at Wangsa Walk. Lepastu terus plan, if I have a daughter I want her to learn how to play a drum. And if I have a son, he must learn how to play guitar. Piano tu memang basic, kena tau. Tak salah kalau berangan.--> Musin is now 17 years old and sitting for his SPM this year.

Year 2015 --> Musin is now 19 years old and currently studying at DTS otw to become a pilot.

#3. I secretly already have some songs that I have in mind, for my wedding. :p Again, tak salah kalau prepare awal-awal.--> I wish I kept the list. Now I have to brainstorm again!

Year 2015 --> I'm glad I got all the songs I wanted to play on my wedding and had people requesting for the playlist :)

#4. Work has been okay, except there's nothing much to do. Everyday is always the same. Arrived office at 8, breakfast, and fb-ing all the long.--> See #1

Year 2015 --> Still see # 1

#5. I got myself a blackberry. :)--> I just got myself a Samsung S4. Been using iPhone4 after the BB

Year 2015 --> Still using Samsung S4 but been eyeing on iPhone 6 tapi angan angan taik ayam je lah kan.

#6. I wanna get married at 26. Ok, shut up.--> I am getting married (finally) at 27. 4 more months to the same man I love for the past 7 years!

Year 2015 --> Been married to Mr. Bern Hazwan for 1 year plus and have a 7 months old daughter named Dian Khadija. <3 br="">

#7. I can't wait for internship to end.--> I can't wait to get a new job

Year 2015 --> I hope Dian sleep a little longer so that I can finish this post.

#8. Loverboy will be leaving me again, and I don't like it. But I don't wanna think abt it too much.--> Loverboy is here to stay, insyaAllah til forever!

Year 2015 --> Alhamdulillah Loverboy ie my husband is still here, eventho he has seen my muka tak mandi face, muka bangun with air liur and tak gosok gigi which I think is my everyday face.

#9. I'm addicted to Mall World in FB, so I'm gonna continue playing that. Ok bye.--> I am ashamed of this statement. Bahahaaha

Year 2015 --> currently playing Covet and Simcity on my phone! Some things will never change heh heh heh

Next up : Dian's labor story!

x

Randomness Vol. 1 - 3 years later..

Update as at 12 July, 2013. 3 years later!

# 1. I woke up this morning thinking, is there such person who woke up every morning and jump out of bed saying "I can't wait to go to work! I love my job!". Ada tak? Azmil cakap "Ada, Oprah Winfrey. " -_- Tah tah Oprah pun malas nak bangun pagi for work. Maybe every night when she went to bed dia pun mcm "Arghh, esok kena kerja ke?!" Hmm.. I doubt so!

--> I am at the same company for the last 2 years. And I hated it! Been actively searching for a new job, but it's tough!!

#2. Yesterday I went to see Bern's lil brother, Musin, who participated in a battle of the band at Wangsa Walk. Lepastu terus plan, if I have a daughter I want her to learn how to play a drum. And if I have a son, he must learn how to play guitar. Piano tu memang basic, kena tau. Tak salah kalau berangan.
--> Musin is now 17 years old and sitting for his SPM this year.

#3. I secretly already have some songs that I have in mind, for my wedding. :p Again, tak salah kalau prepare awal-awal.
--> I wish I kept the list. Now I have to brainstorm again!

#4. Work has been okay, except there's nothing much to do. Everyday is always the same. Arrived office at 8, breakfast, and fb-ing all the long.
--> See #1

#5. I got myself a blackberry. :)
--> I just got myself a Samsung S4. Been using iPhone4 after the BB

#6. I wanna get married at 26. Ok, shut up.
--> I am getting married (finally) at 27. 4 more months to the same man I love for the past 7 years!

#7. I can't wait for internship to end.
--> I can't wait to get a new job

#8. Loverboy will be leaving me again, and I don't like it. But I don't wanna think abt it too much.
--> Loverboy is here to stay, insyaAllah til forever!

#9. I'm addicted to Mall World in FB, so I'm gonna continue playing that. Ok bye.
--> I am ashamed of this statement. Bahahaaha

Mo-Blog #4

Been neglecting this blog for quite some time haven't I? Got my self a tumblr account a few months ago, been neglecting that as well. :p

Btw its www.kazrina.tumblr.com.
Or something like that.

So what's new? Let's see..

1. I finally graduated last february. After 3 years of diploma and 3 years of degree, phew! Next, master perhaps? (But I wanna work and get married first. LOL

2. Can't say that I'm not happy with my cgpa. :)

3. Went for a graduation trip to indonesia with fda, nina, amar and loverboy a few weeks after final exam and it was awesome! Wish we had stayed longer though. Will be back fo sho'!

4. Currently looking for a job. Never thought it would be this hard! Padahal baru apply 2 jobs. Had my 1st and 2nd interview at rbc dexia. Now just waiting for the reply.

5. I did my aptitude test for IBM today. And it was hard! Rasa down gila sebab rasa mcm bodoh sgt. :(

6. Loverboy is in kl but will be leaving to sabah anytime soon. *dislike*

7. Pompom aka emran will turn 2 this 27th. How time flies!

I guess that's it for now. Til my next post! (Who knows when) haha

xx


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